Everyone experiences everyday relational harms--small, often-overlooked hurts that linger in homes, workplaces, churches, and communities. While not catastrophic, these moments disrupt our sense of well-being and relationship. Drawing on Christian theology, moral psychology, and practical pastoral wisdom, Rachel Miller Jacobs argues that healing these small hurts is essential spiritual work that is central to Christian discipleship. Addressing both the "victim" and the "offender," Miller Jacobs recognizes that in small harms we all both hurt others and are hurt by them. One gift of a focus on small harms is that it tilts us toward a both/and perspective; this perspective requires a degree of nuance that is often impossible when we think of ourselves (or of others) as only the victim or only the perpetrator. Small hurts are not always the result of someone doing something wrong.
Through theological reflection and accessible frameworks, the book helps readers recognize what counts as harm, interpret the meaning behind the pain, and respond faithfully. Part One builds a theological and psychological framework for understanding small hurts, their frequency, complexity, and impact. Part Two offers practical spiritual and interpersonal tools for discernment, accountability, confession, and reconciliation. Taken as a whole, the work offers a new model for making things right--one that integrates emotional truth, communal responsibility, and spiritual growth.
Aimed at individuals seeking relational healing, parents and others tending the psychological and spiritual growth of children and youth, and Christian leaders who guide communities through conflict, this book invites readers to practice reconciliation not only in moments of crisis, but in the daily work of being human together.
