"The most significant result of dissociation was the loss of time. The most significant feeling during sexual abuse was powerlessness. There seemed to be no use to fighting, it was useless. Powerlessness led to the loss of hope. The loss of hope led to depression. Depression often followed me since I was young. I easily got depressed, and I turned my anger in on myself. The fear, led to anger. Anger that led to self loathing, low self esteem, and self- scratching to alter my low mood. Yet, even as I was plagued by these things, I kept up a "normal" lifestyle. I don't think most of my friends even had a clue I was a multiple. Sometimes strange, or forgetful, even a liar, but not multiple." Caroline was the victim of repeated childhood sexual abuse and suffered from Multiple Personality Disorder/Dissociative Identity Disorder from the age of three. She cultivated a life of secrecy to avoid explaining her loss of time, body memories, and post-traumatic stress symptoms, fearful that psychiatrists would lock her up and throw away the key. As an adult, Caroline finally found a Christian therapist and began her healing journey, applying an adapted Attachment-Repair technique, giving glory to God, and becoming integrated. Most of her story is recorded in her journals. Caroline is a first time author, a California native, married with three children. She has a passion to help multiples to seek Christian counseling and become integrated. She hopes her book will be useful to abuse survivors, their families, professionals in the field of Psychology, students, and support people of those suffering with Multiple Personality/Dissociative Identity Disorder.
