The author claims that she had a spiritual experience at the age of thirty-four that gave some unity to her life. She experienced the gaze of the Crucified Christ in a very powerful way. This is where the name of the book comes from. The book contains a theological reflection on the gaze of God, but it is also the autobiography of the author, and it includes references to the people, the music, the movies, the books, and the politics that made her life what it is. The author claims that, throughout her ups and downs, even in sin and illness, she has felt that Christ's gaze has stayed: loving, forgiving, and accompanying.