So surrendering to God's will created more heartache for me. Living arrangements were changed with my friend, feelings were hurt, tears were shed, and in my heart I was not sure that this was what I really wanted to do. Nevertheless, I knew that this was the desire that was in God's heart for me. The epiphany in that season was that there was no one else to blame. I was the roadblock. God was taking me somewhere. I wasn't sure where, but I had to get out of my own way so that I might clearly hear His instruction. Things didn't get much easier. As the chemo treatments progressed, my son began to get more fragile. He lost his hair and became skeletal thin. The child psychologist came in to talk to him. She asked him what he liked to do; he didn't say one word. She asked him what he like to eat; still he said nothing. She asked, "Is there any questions you would like to ask me?" He broke down in tears. He could not stop his self because he was crying from the very bottom of his soul. On the journey of spiritual enlightenment you will find that many things that appear to be roadblocks of the devil are actual close encounters with Godly strategies. Oftentimes, our self will is so strong in hindering us from our divine destiny that God must use seeming catastrophic moments to humble out will and cause us to surrender to His Sovereign will and purpose. It is often a very painful process but it is the most rewarding experience because it places you in the divine will of God. I came to the realization that if I had not gone through the things that I went through I would not have become the woman that God designed me to be. I would have settled for an easier plan that would have resulted in less wisdom and less purpose. Tiffany Monique is a charismatic new author from Columbus, Ohio; often underestimated due to her seemingly passive introverted temperament. Her quiet observation has been what has allowed her to take notice of the small things that God reveals in every moment of life. It is Tiffany's desire that her gift will let the light of God shine through.
